Connect For Real

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another - and ourselves." ~ Jack Kornfield, Ph.D. (Theravada Buddhist scholar and teacher)

I own a small business focused on digital communications. I love this space. I love its nearly miraculous ability to connect and reconnect. The great minds of W3C bring the promise of a future (and even current) amalgamation of digital content shared over the Internet to solve problems--with "1s" and "0s" as part of the make up of some of the problems and their solutions. This, the extensibility of the "channel" that is now called "social media," and much more, has connected us in ways previously unimaginable. This is remarkable... and beautiful.


Yet, from a personal perspective, I feel in some ways, while more connected in "volume" by digital communications, social media, and the like, less truly connected. This is not news to most. Formal and everyday sociological discourse abounds with many a dissertation, personal tale, media exposition, etc., demonizing (or fearing?) interactive communication for its detachment.

While numerous forms of digital talk can be a powerful "fastner" and "social lubricant," it is still not, and never will be, a substitute for actually speaking to a person or seeing them face-to-face. Many will postulate, "How can I give face time to everyone I know on a social media platform?" I am not even close to all-knowing on this subject (or any other for that matter), but I will boldly, while equally humbly, state that, from my own experience... you can't. Still, if you were to take just an hour out of the seven hours a month, on average, that most Internet-connected people spend on Facebook (from statistics of a year ago--I'm sure this has increased since) and used it to connect with some of the people you care about through a phone call -- digital communication, yes, but at least voice-to-voice -- or seeing them in person, I'm confident that your TRUE connection to human beings would increase. I find that most Facebook time -- or Twitter, etc., time -- is spent "spewing," not sharing. Imagine, out of the blue, actually calling one of those connections and laughing with them, or sharing a story voice to voice instead of through safe, opaque boundaries... what a revelation that could be. You may even get to know that you want to know that person, or those people, better, or even not at all (sometimes disconnecting is equally valuable to connecting).

My personal relationship goal for 2011 -- among several goals for the new year -- is to concentrate on the quality of connection. I will, in no way, abandon my "spew" -- aren't I doing it right now with this blog post? -- or the emissions of others as, in part, I enjoy it. However, I hope to give more time to having experiences instead of just writing about them, and sharing them real-time with real people through real warm human contact.

I wish everyone the blessings of love, friendship and the best possible health in 2011.